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5.31.2005 ||> Rambling about the angel who constantly saves my life
Last night, I had the distinct pleasure of talking with my friend Jill for about two hours. When I left Arizona for the wilderness of the east coast, she was leaving for a new chance in a new town as well. When I finally got to speak with her after some months, she told me that she had quit her job and was moving back to Phoenix. She was starting over, going back to school and getting her life back on track. She suggested that I do the same. If I am really that unhappy, then I should come back to the people that love me. Unfortunately for me, I'm not as smart as she is. I'm friendless, have a job that doesn't pay me much, and a very cool apartment that's a bit empty when I get home at night.
I'm not particularly sad about any of this, but I do feel a bit trapped. The reality is that I have a 12 month lease that I don't want to break and eleven months to go. Not to mention the fact that I don't want to give up. I don't want to have to go home with my tail between my legs because I couldn't get my shit together. Also, I realize that the day of/after a break-up is not the day to make decisions of any kind.
Jill reminded me of a friend of hers who was in a similar situation. Six months into moving to Phoenix, she didn't have any friends and a job she liked, but was a dead end. Now she's got a ton of friends (my friends included), in October will be married to a guy that is crazy about her, and just started a job she loves. It's nice to know that things can get better. So, on the bright side, at least things can only go up from here.
Only two and a half weeks ago I thought that I couldn't be more happy. I felt that my life was on track to being what I wanted it to be. Maybe next week will bring me lots of luck.
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When I was in college, I had a few relationships, and all the ones that were serious ended in a bang. Lots of drama, yelling and ultimatums flew about. I broke up with my first boyfriend over the phone by telling him that everyone I knew hated him, even the cat. Then I hung up on him and never spoke to him again.
I'm much less dramatic now.
A couple of months ago, I began what can only be described as the most civilized relationship I've had. We had almost montage-esqe moments, walking through Valley Forge Park, getting lost in Philadelphia, making out in my driveway. We never even fought. So of course, we had to break up in much the same way. Like some sort of very calm movie, he told me that it wasn't working out, and I said okay. We talked a bit, and then he left.
The thing that bugs me the most though, is not losing my boyfriend, but losing the only real friend I had here in Pennsylvania. It was one thing to go to Uzbekistan. I went with fifty other people, so naturally I could make friends. Here, I have my family (and they're really awesome), but my friends are spread across two continents. I took a job that wouldn't interfere with my personal life so I could have one, but I don't. All I have is time to be bored or lonely, and I don't even have money to show for it.
My (newly) ex-boyfriend has this five-year plan. I remember having one too, but I chucked it. Maybe that was stupid. Maybe I need a whole new plan, but I don't know where to start.
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After a large amount of time off the internet, I am back and will be blogging soon. I was waiting for Comcast to install and it took a bit longer than forever.
Also, my overwhelming rage at what has happened in Uzbekistan keeps me from blogging. I don't want to write about it, but there's also nothing else I feel that I need to write about more.
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Ah, Friday. The last day of my first working week, the last day of living with my relatives. The first day of the rest of my life.
It appears at work, that on Fridays we can leave an hour early. Maybe with all this free time that I'll have I can be a good blogger in between packing.
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The princess, after traveling many kingdoms far and wide, came back home. Unlike the many courtesans however, she needed to find work after her diplomatic days were put to an end by the king. So she scoured the land for the perfect cottage in a pretty village and a nice cobbler to while away the time with.
On her first day of cobbling, she had to sit and learn the tricks of the trade. This became difficult in the afternoon as she almost fell asleep in front of him! But she persevered and thanks to the royal welcome she received (donuts and coffee), she was able to perk up and finish the grueling task of sitting around and watching other people do the work.
As the day grew long, she left the cobbler's hut with a light heart. But it was her first day going through the forest to get the public carriage and she became lost. Just then, her boss came by in a gilded chariot and drove her to the right spot. She leapt aboard the last carriage just in time and was carried home by a jolly old elf while a very helpful villager entertained her on the way.
Unfortunately, her knight was away slaying dragons in the Land of Mary, so no snuggles. But a good day, overall.
The End.
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I'm not a big fan of Ikea furniture. Yes, it looks very modern and it's very cheap, but my problem with it is that the closer you look, the cheaper it looks. Something that looks like wood from far away is revealed to be nothing more than particleboard. Since I have been back, I haven't been too quiet about my opinion either. Which is why everyone is getting a nice laugh at my expense because I just bought an apartment full of Ikea furniture.
The sad truth is, that until I make my first million, I will have to resign myself to not getting the $2000 bed made from real wood. And that for my needs, Ikea is truly the best buy. For example, my couch and mattress cost about the same as my kitchen table and chairs, the bed, the nightstand, the bookshelves and the TV stand combined. Now it's off to Kmart for my other supplies...
I also wonder if my bank account will ever recover.
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The chic apartment that I went to go look at yesterday was this beautiful, brand new one bedroom in a restored stone building. About 700 square feet, nice bathroom, beveled countertops and tile floor. There was a refrigerator, microwave, dishwasher, and a garbage disposal. The range was electric, but it's a flat, easy clean kind. Ceiling fans in the two rooms.
It was so new that there was still some sawdust on the carpet. And it was beautiful. So I got it, and damn the price.
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Now that the job thing is in the bag, the search now begins for apartments. I saw the first one yesterday. It was a one bedroom cottage with a nicely sized kitchen, living room and a very small bathroom. It's pretty cheap ($700) and about a 10 minute walk to the bus to take me to work.
On the downside, the guy who lived there last was an ex-convict who seems to have run away in the night. The realtor at first said that the basement was non-functional, but then said that it's the only place where there is a washer/dryer hookup. The basement also looks like something Freddy Kruger would have called home. Overall, the home is definitely a "fixer-upper" and I would have to invest some time and money to be comfortable there.
The house I'm seeing today is on the same street, but it's a totally new, renovated one-bedroom apartment. It would have a dishwasher, microwave, and other neat stuff. But it's $925. That's about one half of my monthly paycheck after taxes.
So... house with character or chic new apartment?
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Last week, I called him up and asked him if he would like to see a performance of Carmina Burana. He answered, "absolutely!" which won him huge brownie points. So I called up the box office and got two tickets, surprisingly close to the stage.
Yesterday we got all gussied up (finally able to wear my Thai silk dress!) and went. There were three ballets for the night, but we were late, so we missed the first one. I sort of felt like we had missed the opening band at the concert. Its not the worst thing that could happen, but a bit disappointing.
The performance was amazing, the dancing was superb. My date also looked very nice, and it was nice to feel cosmopolitan again.
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