Jun 6

Shooting myself in the foot

So earlier last week, I got down to my goal weight of 125 pounds, which is a 15 pound weight loss from what I weighed in March. I have not weighed this since the year 2000, when my father died and I ate myself into a diabetic coma on a regular basis with crap college food. I didn’t even weigh this in the Peace Corps, when I got food poisoning on a regular basis and threw up 3% of all my meals.

Because of this weight loss, whenever I see all those weight loss ads on TV that try to get you to be a trimmer, slimmer you, I roll my eyes and think about how happy I am that I was able to do it and how I don’t need to listen to that stuff anymore. I actually enjoy getting on the scale or looking at myself in the mirror. I enjoy trying on size 6 pants at Ann Taylor Loft, and having them fit like a dream.

So, of course this week I have eaten a pack of six oreos for lunch every day this week and today even had two packs. This last weekend I also had a small dish of Cold Stone ice cream. I need four words to describe how I feel now: I am blowing it. The thing is, that this is not the first time I have blown it. I remember in 1998, when I was a slim 119 pounds, that I got a love for chocolate milkshakes. I had one everyday until I was back up to 128. This time, will I shoot my goals down with Oreo bullets? Will I not be able to maintain?

By posting this, I am hoping that it will shame me into getting back on track with my maintenance diet. That I will make more vegetable-only meals and not eat processed snack food. That I will be able to get my cholesterol down to at least 150 by my next doctor’s appointment. That I will reach all my goals.

Wish me luck, and feel free to scold. Apparently, I need it.

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