seprah.com
May 30

Candy Land

I try to be an honest, genuine person.  I don’t do anything academically shady, I usually tell the truth, and I am faithful to my partners.  However, there is one avenue where I have been cheating since I was little, and last night my chickens came home to roost.

I cheat compulsively, totally and without any remorse at the board game Candy Land.  I have since before I can remember.  Usually, my cheating is confined to deck stacking, where I will make sure to put Candy Land’s face cards in such a way that by turn four I’m as close to winning as possible.  I also have, on occasion, “accidentally” picked two cards at once, so that I can get the better of two cards.  It makes for a quick game, but that’s sort of the fun of the game for me: I warn everyone about this before we start, but I try to see how much I can get away with. As a matter of fact, I would love to play with someone who also cheats at Candy Land, it would certainly even the scale.  The only other person who cheated at board games as much as I when I was a kid was my sister.  I’m not so sure how that would work now that we’re adults.  After all, being an “example” does have its drawbacks.

Last night, I played Candy Land with a bunch of people during a party for a friend of mine.  One of my friends knows about my cheating, and warned everyone.  But actually, she needn’t have bothered, since there were so many people I couldn’t stack the deck without getting caught.  I did get lucky however, and still won, which surprised me.  So then, everyone exclaimed that I cheated.  (I did, twice, in small doses. But I would have won anyway!)  I sat there, thinking how these accusations were a direct result of my honesty.  Had I not been upfront about my cheating habit, I never would have been charged in the Court of Candy Land.

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