A focus group of women has decided for you: the first few dates with us, we expect you to be on your best behavior. We are on ours. We’re not showing up to dates drunk, whining about restaurant choices, or taking you to foreign films with non-datey plots. So, a laundry list of our demands are posted on this blog. Should you find them, we hope you will not make the same mistakes as some others.
- Please make a decision about your dinner. It’s a slippery slope after we’ve ordered off the menu for you.
- Don’t show up drunk, or get drunk. No drunks allowed.
- Don’t talk about your ex and how you hate that she had all those opinions. Actually, you can talk about this because it acts as a time-saver. Our pesky opinions will have to take us and leave.
- Don’t talk about your ex.
- Pay. It’s awkward at check time if you stare us down.
- Tip 20%. We are watching your tip, and we will judge you accordingly.
- You can tell us how pretty we look, but any other appearance comments are for your inner monologue only.
- No whining.
- Respect when we say no, we mean no.
- No porno scenarios until after the third date.
Most importantly, just treat us with respect and we will treat you with the same. We agreed to go out with you, so that’s a great start. Just run with it.