Mar 1

Studying Sleep

I went to a sleep center here in NY today. After over an hour talking to the NP about things I had never verbalized or put into words until my blog post last month, I felt clean. Like, I had been addicted to something and I was finally admitting my addiction. I took the first step in admitting I had a problem. It was hard because, although I was finding ways to articulate what was going on before the appointment, it was emotional saying everything out loud.

It was awesome that I am no longer alone in this. And that there is help.

The NP said that she suspected I either had narcolepsy or idiopathic hypersomnia. That last one was more like they’re not entirely sure I fit the criteria for narcolepsy, but I have something. I was a little nervous about narcolepsy, because in some states you can’t get a license if you have it. Luckily NY is not one of those states, because I’ve never fallen asleep while driving and it wouldn’t be fair.

I’m going in for a sleep study in a couple of weeks for an analysis that would give me a definitive diagnosis. You all can cue the narcoleptic jokes after. (Should I speak in an Argentinian accent like the Narcoleptic in Moulin Rouge?)

I have a hard time describing how relieving this is, to feel like I can gain some sort of control. I wonder what I will be like if I’m not exhausted. Will I be the same person when truly awake?


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