The text messaging went on forever, and I hoped that we could just talk, which is unlike me. When someone who hates phone conversations just wants to get the thing straightened out, then you can tell the situation is frustrating.
We met in a group of friends hanging out, which was great, really. He liked me, and I could tell. I thought he was funny, and relieved to not have to play the online dance, which means a lot of coy games. He asked my friend for my cell, she gave it to him. We agreed to meet Saturday.
Saturday comes and I do my thing: laundry, cooking, and working out. 6:30 comes and I haven’t heard back. I text: What’s going on? Nothing.
7:15 comes and I have friends asking me to go to dinner with them. I’m tempted because I’m hungry. I text again. At 7:45, I call and say that I don’t know where he is or if the date is still on, but if it’s not, I’d rather go eat with my friends if it’s all the same.
At 8:00, just as I leave for the train to go meet my friends, a text from him: Got held up helping a friend. What time will you be done with dinner?
And see, the issue I have is that I knew I wouldn’t be done until 11, and then, there was no chance I would be willing to meet him. Egged on by my friends, I persevered in texting until I canceled at 11:40.
He apologizes the next day, and I do understand. Sometimes things just get away from you. So I give him one more chance. I try to set up the only and soonest day I can do, given a work travel schedule that could be described as insane. He replies: Later in the week is better for me. Why don’t you hit me up when you get back and we’ll set a date.
I consider asking him whether he confused me for someone without self-respect. I actually text Sure, knowing I will not. And I feel sad. He tries to friend me on Facebook, I ignore it.
The thing that makes me sad is that he is not even close to being in the minority of people in this town who think this is acceptable behavior. It’s not the first time I’ve met a guy and he’s suddenly playing hard to get, not texting or calling, but still insisting to friends that he totally digs me.
Here’s why “playing it cool” doesn’t work with me. Because I think you’re not interested and I move on. And not only that, but I would like to date an adult, someone who knows what they want and are capable of expressing it. I don’t want to be with someone who I have to cancel a date with out of apathy.
Guys in New York. Sigh.New York, psyche