I am a horrible friend. For days now I have not checked my email, and with the exception of the piano bar, not gone out with my friends. I have not called the people that I have meant to call nor emailed the ones that I can’t call. It’s not that I don’t want to, because I do. I’m not really depressed or sad so that’s not a reason either. I’m eating horribly too and my sleep schedule’s screwed up in a million different ways.
I need some sort of structure to my life like a job or a hobby, something to do to give my life some sort of meaning. I know that most people dream of being a big lump of laziness. Not having a care in the world, just sitting around watching TV and eating junk. When I’m super busy, I wish I could be that way too. But really, a month is too much, I feel like I’m self-destructing. But I’m also carless, jobless and purposeless so there’s nothing I can do about it.
So because I’m so detached, I’m taking out on the people who love me and would like to hear from me and compounding the uselessness. What’s up with that?friends, vacation