seprah.com
Apr 15

F***

Welcome to my depression. Okay, so I want to curl up into a ball and die, but here I sit, at my computer. Sigh. I hate feeling unloved because it hurts. I have a new haircut, new updates for all my sites, and I’m almost done with my thesis, but it all feels like ash in my mouth and I don’t want any of it. I feel like I don’t deserve any of it.

Like the naked leads the blind/ I know I’m selfish I’m unkind/

Sucker love I always find/ someone to bruise and leave behind

Yep, that’s me. It’s like people don’t realize that I know how obnoxious and mean I am, and never give me any credit for at least trying to be a better person. I do try, honest. I’m just human, so I fail and revert back my my basic bitch form. And now I just want to die. Or kill.

Anyway, I knew Rae was going to do this Sunday Seven today, so I prepared:

Seven favorite books of all time:

1. Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley – The bestest book ever. It’s 800 pages and I’ve read it about 10 times. Ms. Bradley was the Queen of characterization and plot development. It was just amazing and full and rich.

2. The Wolf’s Hour by Robert McCammon – Just an awesome action book about a werewolf spy in WWII. I was obsessed with the main character for years.

3. Stardust of Yesterday by Lynn Kurland – The best romance book ever. Great example of the kind of tension we used to see on Buffy.

4. Lady of the Forest by Jennifer Roberson – Everything Ms. Roberson touches turns to gold. This book in particular.

5. How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie – A great book on how to learn to treat people better. It has obviously not worked that well for me, but it is the self-improvement book, and has at least helped me a bit, I hope.

6. Seduction by the Stars by Ren Lexander and Geraldine Rose – The best astrology book ever. Read your sign, because I promise, it will be like looking into the mirror. Plus, it’s a fun party gag.

7. Children of the Night by Mercedes Lackey – The first Misty book I ever read, as well as the first Wiccan detective story. It kicked ass.

Honorable mentions? Oh, there are tons. I’m just too upset to lay them out. I hate my life right now, so if you’ve emailed me and I haven’t gotten back to you, it’s because I’m too focused on my own weirdly conflicting outward anger and self-loathing. I’ll get back to you in a day or two.

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