Being a big fan of True Blood and a diehard Buffy addict, people are always expecting me to read/ watch the Twilight series. And while the jury’s still out as to whether I will watch the movie (I did, after all, lose three hours of my life to Eyes Wide Shut, so what’s two more?), I am definitely not reading the books. Besides the fact that sparkly vampires who can go out in sunlight doesn’t appeal, this article really cemented how much I’m not going to waste my time on this series. Because, essentially? It’s a series of books about how great Mormons are.
Not that I don’t like Mormons. As someone in a religion that’s only 55 years old, I can appreciate someone who’s religion is about 100 years older. And while I don’t like the rampant sexism, racism and homophobia of the Church, I tend to like Mormons themselves. Most of them are just trying to get by, like me.
But I refuse to read a primer for their religious beliefs, tramped up in Young Adult novel-like, abstinence porn. Because that’s what I’ve heard over and over. Add to that, the following:
- Edward is perfect, sparkles in sunlight and is the most handsome man ever. Like the Prophet, Joseph Smith.
- The Cullinses are the perfect family, and they are totally cool with 18 year old Bella getting married to their 100 year old son. Because they are perfect. Just like all Mormons have to be.
- Bella, on the other hand, is not even a real character – she’s a clumsy shell of nothing. Until she becomes a Mormon Vampire.
And Edward even goes on a metaphorical mission, where Bella then dates the Native American kid who later on becomes domestically violent, so we won’t think Edward is a stalkerish crazy person? This shit is messed up, and not in a cool way.
Seriously, read the article I linked to. Because not only is it hilarious, it’s also scary.Buffy, religion, True Blood