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2.28.2003 ||>  

Thanks to everyone that commented. I am indeed looking for tapes in English from European countries. Or rather, charities that will ship it to me. :)
As for the book aid suggestion, thanks Laura! I had no idea there were 2 "Book Aid"s and was a bit discouraged, but I'll see what I can do with this new material, although I don't think they do Central Asia (we're pretty underrepresented as far as charities are concerned).

I am feeling very conflicted about the "end" of Buffy. On the one hand, I'm glad that it can go out on a high note and not on a strangled gasp of air like the X-Files. On the other hand, I have put my time and energy and obsessiveness into this for 6 years. I feel almost like "What now?" I mean, if everyone hasn't guessed by now, I'm really not happy unless I have something to be truly obsessed about. And, as much as I love Uzbekistan, it's just not going to cut it in the potential-obsession category. Something about bucket bathing and having to wipe your ass with rocks occasionally just doesn't make it go all the way for me. What if I find myself lost, adrift on a sea of normalcy? What will I become then? Average? What will I have to put my errant time and energy into?
I couldn't possibly use it in ways that I'm supposed to. After all, that's just not fun... or right. I need something to take my mind away from my own life now and again and Buffy was so wonderful for that, with its gripping plots, it's wonderful dialogue and it's ability to have relevance in my life while allowing me a bit of escapism as well. Plus, what am I going to do with my mammoth of a website? Take it off and let it sit unconnected to the world? Or leave it to rot like some sort of dinosaur, a monument to what was but can never be again? I never really expanded like other webmasters did, although I tried every once and awhile, and my sites have all been pretty buffy-related. Not Angel related. Buffy.

I'll find something. I have to.

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