11.20.2003 ||>
So I had a break a couple of weeks ago, and I spent it doing pretty much nothing. I visited my old host family, read some books (finally finishing Anna Karenina!) and that was about it. Now that I'm swamped again, I have to ask (Sarah Jessica Parker style): which life is the better lived one? Idly passing days or not being able to think for all the things one's doing? I'm tired and exasperated. But, left to my own devices, I'm more negative when I have nothing to do. I want to live a life that can be justifiably called living. But which is it? Where is the good life that everyone seeks? Is it only the El Dorado of a workaholic’s imagination? Naturally, I don’t think that the "good life" can be found in a place where people are grateful for indoor plumbing. However, perhaps living a life where one can fall asleep at night satisfied with everything is attainable anywhere. As of yet, I do not sleep the sleep of the untroubled innocent. I think the important part is to keep trying to.
Oh, and uh, I finally did that Chosen review...
So yesterday, I got up, stretched as usual and thought of all the things I had to do. I was also grateful to not hear the now-familiar patter of rain outside. Listening to the soothing sounds of the Eels' Electro-shock Blues, I stood at the window and with no small jolt realized there was white powder crystallized on the trees. The ground was mercifully absent of this substance, as it merely contained ice's more liquid sister.
Mentally, I had a firm talk with the weather patterns. I let it know that this behavior was not to be condoned until December. I also begged a high pressure zone to come my way until that time. Then, I comforted myself with pancakes and blackberry jam.
How mundane it seems to be discussing weather on one's blog! Unfortunately, it does change every aspect of how life is lived here. Everything becomes more expensive at once, and transportation becomes more crowded as everyone who walked in October crowds the buses until March. As for myself at least, snow-induced apathy sets its claws into me and makes me not want to do anything for fear of freezing.
Naturally, all the flights to Thailand and India are booked, so I can't even dream of a papaya-eating escape in January. Well, maybe I can have my dreams even if the truth is literally cold.
