Hello baby. I have a new love introduced to me by Kenneth Cole and they are available at Nordstroms and Macy's. Too bad neither of those places exist here. Oh, wait, I'm going to be in another place soon. I hope they are waiting for me.
Ok, so after looking at three Internet cafes in the area that I live, I have come to the conclusion that people here don't get that you have to actually have the Internet to call yourself an Internet cafe. If you don't have the Internet, then you are a "game club" or "computer club" but not an "Internet club." So there.
So I have 33 days left until I quit Uzbekistan and go on the last vacation before returning to America. My students have been handling this in different ways. Some have been giving me the Big Attitude either because they know that I am leaving and won't be able to do too much about it or just because they're teenagers and that's how teenagers handle new situations. Other students are being really sweet and playing on my heart-strings. My 10th grade is surprisingly cool, asking me for my address when I get back to the US so they can write me letters and such. It's one of those moments that makes me all gooey and think, "awww, maybe I'll just give them all As and then they'll always miss me." One of my 11th grade classes on the other hand makes me want to leave and pronto. I teach the equivalent of the honors 11th grade and they definitely think they are the best too. The other 11th grades are cool, but the "smart" class makes me want to bang my head against a wall ala Ally McBeal. It's a good thing kids aren't aware of the power they have to make or break a parent or teacher's day. The exploitation would be terrible.
After classes, the teachers and I talked about getting ready for Teacher's Day, which is on the first and a huge holiday here. Apparently, it was decided that all the departments have to do some sort of "routine" for the director. One of the teachers offered to do a strip routine. While we all saw the merit, it was voted down as we were all worried about our jobs. So we're doing a poster instead. Another good thing that students aren't aware of: that we're all as crazy as they are, we just hide it better.
Mlle. Sepra will be using her powers today as an official Babe on a Broomstick to read the future for you. They say the future is everywhere, from the whorls of your fingertips to the motion of stars in the sky. Today, in the third person only, she will seek to deconstruct these age old secrets using the generalization of ... astrology. So please sit back and let the planets be your guide!
Aries: So you're feeling a little railroaded? Easy enough, just use your machete to cut through that red tape. Only have a Swiss army knife? Well, then, stabbing people works nicely too.
Taurus: This fall will have many earthly distractions. You must decide between the flesh of delicious fresh fruit and the flesh of something equally tasty. The question you should ask yourself is, "which one will help me gain or lose the most weight?"
Gemini: Poor Gemini always likes to multi-task. This fall will put this skill to the test, but just remember: beware of crackwhores bearing gifts.
Cancer: Even crabs gotta cry. And most of them do. Let it all hang out at least twice this time around or you'll regret it.
Leo: We built this city on rock 'n roll, but only your personal magnetism will keep it afloat. So keep up the positive attitude and charm the pants off all those naysayers who don't believe Elvis really was at that Wal-Mart in Mobile.
Virgo: Even your social life gets planned to the day this season. Advice: loosen up!
Libra: If you still can't make up your mind on what to do with the whatsit that the one guy gave you that time, it's ok to ask the advice of an Aries. But don't ask a Scorpio because you know they just like to manipulate you. Like last time.
Scorpio: Just kidding about the manipulation thing. Really. No need to get all vengeful, you'll have too much to do this fall anyway and the joy of revenge will play second fiddle to sitting around and impressing people with your intenseness.
Sagittarius: This archer has got his quarry in his sights. Unfortunately, it's still out of reach. But as Sagittarius already knows, anything's possible with the right attitude. So go after what you need this time and the stars will align to help you.
Capricorn: Your symbol is an old goat for a reason. But remember that your work could also use your attention and plan accordingly. After all, some work and some play make Cappy a good goat.
Aquarius: Difficult to believe, but you aren't the only one who hates all these distracting domestic tasks. But if you don't do something soon, your bugs will be bigger than you.
Pisces: You are one landlocked fish. The trick to relaxation? Lots of bath time. Rubber duckies make it even more fun.