9.29.2005 ||> I still have my blinding intellect, right?
Why do people say the things they do? What presses them to go on and on and dig themselves deeper, especially when they're being told that they're being a bit offensive? When I was in Uzbekistan, one of my site mates and I were talking about blondes. She was talking as if she was the only blonde in the conversation, and when I mentioned that she was talking to another natural blonde, she said (my hand to god, I swear she did): "Well, you're more of a dishwater blonde, so you don't get treated the way I do."
But I just chalked it up to typical Peace Corps volunteer verbal diarrhea. We didn't speak in English so much, so we compensated my having no inner monologue when we did. But then the other day, I was in a conversation about boobs with these girls from work. One of these girls was saying how big d-cups were. How it was too big and how could a woman deal with it?
When I mentioned that I was a d-cup, she said, "Well, you don't look like a 'd', maybe you're small for your cup?" I'm still not actually sure if she was insulting me or comforting me. Maybe she was saying that I was so fat that my boobs look small by comparison?
I remember being a big breasted blonde in college. Now I'm a small-chested dishwater blonde not 3 years later? When did it all go so wrong? Anyway, since Monday, I've found myself wearing these plunging necklines to work.
I just noticed, walking home from the bus stop, that there is another LUKOIL station down the block. The shiny red signs really make me confused.
On the one hand, it makes me giggle because in Russian "luk" means "onion" and so I always call it the "onion station" despite the fact that this joke is very lame and boring. At least is sounds funny in my head.
The encroachment of Russian oil companies also scares me a bit. Despite the fact that I love speaking Russian and many friends of mine are Russian, I really do not want to see Russian influence here. The fact that Russia is slowly but surely taking away all the rights that were given at the collapse of the Soviet Union and while supporting human rights abuses abroad makes me not want it in my home. I also see and completely understand why Russian leaders are land-grubbing megalomaniacs. But don't we already have to bend over for Saudi Arabia? Isn't putting up with the Saudi family enough for us? The fact that Russian television commonly maligns us on the air while their President buddies up to ours does not bode well for our future relations.
Of course many people will disagree with me, and with cause. I don't really see Russia as an evil empire filled with "evildoers" (can that phrase even be used anymore or has Bush ruined it?) bent on destoying capitalism. However, I think we should be very careful about how together we want to be economically. They value strength above all else. If there is a weakness, they will exploit it to full advantage.
I've been sort of one-note lately. I love Firefly... I hate my job... I want to see Serenity... I hate my job... Love Firefly... hate my job... you get the picture.
Can I promise it will get better any time soon? Not really. I'll probably stop posting about Serenity in October, after I bully all my friends and family to go see it. I could quit my job any day now and am talking with my old temp agency to get some sort of work before I quit (don't want to do anything too stupid). But who knows? I might give my two weeks tomorrow. I have no idea.
I keep having this one thought though. I feel sorry for all those kids that have to pay for college and get this crazy student loan debt. Because my two bachelor degrees were clearly worth shit, and it would kill me to know that and also know that I was still paying it off.
Don't worry about getting that college education kids, because no one values that kind of thing anymore. And you'll be trying to pay it off while making $12 an hour at some crappy hellhole.