Season 7 - Season in a Nutshell (or just a
nutty season) ||>
We all have our ides for what will happen in a season of Buffy,
whether it's good, bad or ugly. But what if we could come up with
new episodes of BtVS? Well, last season, some people did find
ways. For season seven, I drew on some Fantasy Spoilage to fill
in the blanks. Thank you to these contributors: Kelly,
Sammy, Laura, Lorien,
So here is season seven, full of twists and wacky fun!
episode 7.1 "Tea and Scones"
Willow recovers over in England where Giles and the witches in
Devon teach her about real magic and how to do good with it without
becoming addicted. Thus, she will be able to still practice witchcraft,
although since the whole apocalypse thing, her powers are severely
limited. Meanwhile, Sunnydale High reopens and Buffy finds herself
teaching a self-defense class, where kid sis Dawn is the star
episode 7.2 "Slave 4 Slayers"
While helping Willow in England, Giles gets wind that the council,
in a bid to regain slayer control and return the status quo, are
secretly enlisting an assassin to get rid of Faith and Buffy.
This forces Willow to come home a bit prematurely. To help her,
she and Giles bring along the High Priestess of the Devon coven...
Brittany Spears! Apparently Brit is the High Priestess of the
Devon coven, and uses her magic to make her songs so catchy and
likable. I mean I can't stop danc- never mind. Anyway, They get
back just in time to stop the assassins and decide to stay in
Sunnydale awhile to protect Buffy and the Scoobies.
Episode 7.3 "Soul Having"
While Willow couldn't resurrect Tara, she did interfere with her
soul's normal ascension. When Spike is given a soul, he accidentally
received Tara's. He returns to Sunnydale in hopes that he can
figure out if it's Buffy or Willow he loves. However, with Tara
gone, and her bad magic all pumped out, Willow needs some serious
comforting. Buffy decides to take some time off work to be with
her. Willow becomes delirious, and thinks Buffy is Tara. Spike
comes in at the worst possible moment, and becomes depressed.
He almost stakes himself, but Halfrek stops him.
Episode 7.4 "Funtastic"
The Scoobies, who now know of Spike's return, are still wary of
him (as they should be) but he gets some help (and a little cuddling)
from Halfrek. She seems to think he's sexier now that he's all
ex-bad boy. Giles, completely sickened by all of this, hides out
for the ep in his apartment with Brittany. She drives him so crazy
he just can't sleep... Anya pukes.
Episode 7.5 "You Are My Passion for Life"
Dawn finally meets a friend at school through her math class.
Her new friend seems very nice, but odd. Dawn finds out that she's
really a zombie conjured from a hell dimension to ease the suffering
of a woman who lost her daughter. The zombie tries to destroy
Sunnydale, but Dawn stops her. She gives the woman an identical
Episode 7.6 "Filler Episode"
There is a Creature of the Week. The Scoobies find out that it's
wrecking havoc, so they do research and kill it. Giles gets knocked
around, Xander gets donuts, Dawn whines and Willow cries for her
loss of Tara.
Episode 7.7 "This is NOT a Crossover"
Angel finds out that ever since the last Sunnydale crossover,
he has been with a Cordy-clone! Angel decides to kill the clone
and go back to Sunnydale to find the real Cordy. Unfortunately,
Spike wakes up from his love fest with Hallie long enough to get
pissed about his rival and kills both Cordys. Angel goes home
and no one really cares. Buffy does wonder who the kid is though.
Episode 7.8 "All Nekkid, All Gay, All the Time"
Riley returns in pursuit of a heat demon who makes everyone too
hot for actual clothing. Because of the indecency of it all, women
and men are sequestered apart, but wackiness still manages to
Episode 7.9 "Chasing Willow"
Spike, still a bit confused after regaining his soul, realizes
that it's Willow he now loves and he comes on to her by trying
to tell her about his soul. Willow, in a mad fit because she thinks
he's just being horny, stakes him and uses the ashes to spread
over Sunnydale in memory of Tara.
Episode 7.10 "Flashback"
The writers have really run out of ideas and so everyone sits
around talking about old conquests as the flashbacks roll. Willow
finds out through the flashbacks that when she killed Spike, she
sent Tara's soul away. Everyone gets sad.
Episode 7.11 "The Love Shack"
Xander and Anya are sequestered in a room together by a demon.
Inside, they resolve their feelings and issues. In an attempt
to escape, Anya dies and Xander and Willow go home to eat Ben
and Jerry's. Xander gains more weight.
Episode 7.12: "The End"
Because they're getting back to "Buffy: Year One," there
are only 12 episodes to this season. This one ends pretty quickly
when Buffy finds a device that destroys all demon life. It makes
vamps human with souls again and sends all the demons back to
hell. They stuff the device in the Hellmouth, it goes kablooey
and everyone retires from the Scooby Gang.